Deep Blue Sea 3

So Discovery Channels’ annual Shark Week event just ended, and National Geographic’s Shark Fest (which is much better in my humble opinion) is in full swing. I was in the mood for some shark movies, and just by happenstance, Deep Blue Sea 3 was released, and figured I might as well keep the shark train rolling.

Cards on the table I really liked Deep Blue Sea when I was younger and even knew to enjoy it for it’s over the top self-awareness and Deep Blue Sea 2 was a pile of garbage left out in the sun, so did part three save the franchise?... No, no, it didn’t.

But was it better than part 2? Yes, but that isn’t saying much.

So DBS3 looks like a crew on vacation filmed it and during the last weekend of the trip, remembered they had to shoot a movie, so they compiled every cliché they could think of and slapped together a movie.

Before I tear into it, the positives: I thought the location of the sinking village was a cool idea and was hoping they would go with a Tremors (a great movie) feel to it with people having to move from rooftop to rooftop to avoid being lunch, they didn’t.

The movie’s introduction shows us a “Friendly” Great White shark by the name of Sally, who travels to the location to give birth, and the puppet used for her is actually really cool and realistic, and because it’s a real object when people interact with her, it feels natural.

That’s about all that’s good about the film, to be honest. The kills are lackluster with only two worth noting; one at the beginning involving a diver and the other, oh man, it was hilarious and is at 1 hour and 4 minutes into the movie, and I had to watch this thing around five times because it was too funny.

The plot revolves around shark researcher Dr. Emma Collins and her scrappy team led by Eugene “SHAW!” a former vet who worked alongside Emma’s deceased father. While the research team was studying the shark nursery, three large Bull Sharks were the subject of some science mumbo jumbo. I think to get smarter, or maybe cure cancer or something, I am not sure, to be honest, the movie is all over the place.

Anyways, the sharks move into town and immediately begin killing and eating all the other local sharks as well as the only remaining locals on the island, which is two, yup only two people outside of the four-man crew live on the island (told ya this movie was filmed fast).

Enter in another science team claiming to be studying the bulls and why they’re so aggressive, and just by luck, the lead science guy is Emma’s old flame from college, what a coincidence! Skip the obvious the new guys are bad and want the sharks for their employers, and Emma and crew have to end the bulls in order to save the other sharks.

Plots out of the way, so now I get to bite into this movie like a shark. First off, the CGI sharks go from okay to outright bad. Some shots, their fins disappear and then pop back in because they forgot to animate them. Good Ol’ Sally from the start, which is one of the better actors in the movie, is there for all of 2 minutes. What was her point? Did she play super mom and comes in to save the researchers by munching on the evil Bull Sharks? Nope.

Did her story of motherhood and birthing a new generation have anything to do with the plot or symbolism in the film? Nope. Nothing. It feels like they had a leftover puppet from the first and threw it in just cause we got time to fill. The main bad guy can apparently teleport because one minute he is on a boat out at sea and the next, he’s right behind everyone, ready to fight. Speaking of fighting. Why do people in this movie know martial arts? And why are they so bad at it? They even play the old trope of you think the villain is dead, but he’s got to come back for one last scare, and sadly it isn’t scary. Everyone in the movie chews on the screen more so than the sharks, and everyone makes the dumbest choices you can make. One of the best moments was when two members of the crew were trapped in a sinking hut needing rescue and Emma comes to the rescue but says she needs her gear and leaves everyone, seriously she leaves, and everyone is saying how they’re running out of time and need to hurry, and she goes off to change her suit, do her hair in a new braid and take time to suit up in diving gear…why? So people die, but no one cares, one lady’s husband gets munched, and she cries for all of one minute and okay we’re done with that, some crew members die let’s say their name, and okay, we’re done with that.

Nothing has weight in the movie, and the pace is so breakneck fast that there’s no time to feel anything, which is funny because nothing happens in this movie. Also, I don’t want to play this card, but for a movie that is obviously playing up to a certain crowd, why do all the dark-skinned guys have to die first?

And speaking of that, no women die at all in the movie, so if you want a girl power night with the ladies and some sharks, here’s your movie. Is it good? No, but should you see it?

If you’re bored or saw the first two and want to finish off the trilogy, go for it, but I don’t think I would willingly see this movie again, 4/10 passable but forgettable.

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