OK, here’s a promise. Nothing in this column about CV-19.

So read on.


Local voters will have a unique choice for congressman come the November election.

Republicans can back Howze its done, while Democrats can claim he tries Harder.


Let’s start with one addition to our 90-plus list. That would be longtime Pattersonite Marguerite Apland, who noted that magical birthday last Saturday, March 14. Her maiden name was Parsons and she moved here with her family when she was 6 – just in time to start school.

Unfortunately, it must also be reported that we recently lost two from the list. The latest is Agnese (Zugnoni) Friedrich, who died at age 97 after coming here as a toddler from Italy.

Also foreign-born was Manuel Joaquim Paiva, Jr. He died March 1 in Modesto at age 100.

He was born on the Portuguese island of Madeira and came to this country with his parents when he was 11. He leaves a large family including a son John and daughter, Denise Fantozzi, here.


A college friend of mine in Iowa, who now resides in Pennsylvania, informs me that he’s stocked up for emergencies. Without standing in line, he went out the other day and purchased two bushels of cobs.


Have you ever wondered why you can drink a drink but not food a food?

Or why the “w” is called Double-U when it is clearly Double-V?

Well, I have.


Only a select group of Persons of Maturity remember when we had German prisoners of war housed near the end of World War II at the Vernalis Air Base facility.

That’s history.


Sports? What sports?

Someone send me an email saying he spotted a strange-looking woman sitting on his couch the second day of the blackout. She looked distinctly like his wife.


None other than the late wit Will Rogers said:

“The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.”

Ron Swift is editor/publisher emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. He can be reached at ronkay@gvni.com.

PI editor/publisher emeritus

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