The first time I heard a mom tell me she felt guilty for taking care of herself, I brushed it off as an outlier. When it occurred again and again, I realized we had a bigger issue at hand.
Guilt is the very first module within my program, The Fulfilled Mama Method, because it’s such a common theme among women. When discussing strong feelings, it’s important to have an accurate definition and guilt is defined as a feeling that stems from wrongdoing. I ask my clients if they truly believe that taking care of themselves is wrong or that it will negatively impact those they love. If that sounds as silly to you as it does to me, then why the guilt? It has everything to do with mindset, what you believe, and what we’ve been taught.
I like to loop it back to a woman’s very first pregnancy. She was likely bombarded with newborn advice, parenting advice, and the best products and gadgets to purchase. It makes my heart hurt that the amount of self-care advice she received was likely summed up in these five words: sleep when the baby sleeps. Ask any mom and she’ll likely tell you this is nearly impossible. When it’s the only alone time that exists, it’s difficult to actually savor it while sleeping.
Take a moment to think about what life could be like without mom guilt. What choices would be different? How would those choices make you feel? How would you interact with your child(ren) differently? Your spouse? How would you talk to yourself differently? There’s probably more negative self-talk going on than you’re aware of and it impacts you (and those around you) much more than you realize. Until the wall of mom guilt is shattered, nothing beyond it is attainable.
I believe that children benefit when their mom is fulfilled. I can personally attest to the fact that I am a better mom when I care for my mind, my body, and my spirit. I’m much more present and light-hearted when I start the morning by myself, just me as me. I’m proud that I’m actively modeling the importance of self-fulfillment and now coach other women to do the same, especially the moms of daughters.
If mom guilt is part of your life, spend some time reviewing the questions above so you can make progress toward knocking down those self-care barriers. I’d also be honored to welcome you into the Simple Shifts in Motherhood community, a private group via Facebook where I lead real conversations about the very real struggles we face as modern moms. Above all, remember to give yourself grace for the journey. You are worthy, deserving, and capable.
Laurie Ann, RN is a leader in transformation, an advocate for guilt-free self-nurturance in motherhood, and Founder of The Fulfilled Mama Method. Learn more and schedule a Discovery Call at www.laurieann-rn.com